The Road Ahead
by ThatBrownEyedIrishGirl
Summary: The night before Deeks goes deep undercover, Deeks and Kensi spend one final night together. What that night leads to will change their lives forever, but with a frozen lake in the way, the road to happiness will not be easy.
1. Chapter 1

**The Road Ahead**

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing

**Summary**: The night before Deeks goes deep undercover, Deeks and Kensi spend one final night together. What that night leads to will change their lives forever, but with a frozen lake in the way, the road to happiness will not be easy.

**Genre**: Romance/Angst

**Rating**: T+ for non-explicit sex scenes, and violence.

**Author**: Megan B. (thatbrowneyedirishgirl)

**Note**: Everything up to 6x09 - Traitor is canon. Anything that happens after is AU.

* * *

><p>It was the sunlight peeking through a small gap of her curtains that woke Kensi Blye up that morning. Rolling onto her back, the light hit her face, causing her eyes to scrunch up against the offending brightness of the early morning sun.<p>

Groaning softly, Kensi's arm came up and crossed her face, blocking out the sun as she stretched, her muscles and joints popping in relief. Spending the night asleep on her couch had not been the best move for her to make, and Kensi sat up, rolling her shoulders and finally switching off the television.

Her alarm was set for eight-forty, and with a quick glance at the clock, Kensi sighed in defeat. Eight-thirty-five. There was no way she would be able to catch up on a few more moments of her precious sleep before her alarm began to blare.

Kensi stood, fixing the cushions behind her, and grabbing the empty take-out carton from the coffee table. She tossed the carton in the trash on her way into the bathroom, setting her phone on the counter and grabbing her towel.

Just as Kensi began to strip off, her phone buzzed. Picking it up, she opened the text from Deeks, a small laugh escaping her as she stared at the photo.

Deeks had taken Monty with him to the beach that morning, and the two had obviously had a good time. Deeks had his chin resting on Monty's head, their equally as shaggy hair damp and slightly curly. Monty had obviously began to sniff the camera, as only his nose and his wide eyes were visible. Kensi laughed again, and quickly set the photo as her partner's caller id image.

The text underneath read; "_Shaggy and Scooby missed you this morning."_

As Kensi let the hot water of her shower work out the last few kinks in her shoulders and back, her mind drifted off in the direction of her partner. Things had been good between them after she had returned from Afghanistan. They spent a lot more time together outside of work, with either Deeks ending up staying the night at her place, or Kensi staying the night at his place. They weren't together exactly, but their _thing _was definitely on the table. They both knew that, inevitably, the time would be right for them to officially move forward, and with a content smile, Kensi knew that time was approaching. And she was ready.

Realizing that her thoughts of her partner had distracted her, Kensi washed the shampoo from her hair, and finished up with her shower, wrapping her towel around her body.

There was another text from Deeks when she picked her phone back up, this time a picture of a box of donuts that literally had her name scrawled across the top of the white bakery box.

Kensi got dressed a little quicker after that. Jeans were pulled up her tan legs, and a white, long-sleeved top was pulled over her bra. She dragged a hairbrush through her dark curls, and twisted her bangs up and clipped it at the top of her head. Shoes, keys and her phone later, Kensi was out the door and driving to work.

* * *

><p>Deeks took a deep breath as he emerged from the waves. Monty was bouncing around his heels excitedly, shaking the excess water from his fur as he joined his owner on the sand. Deeks gave a chuckle, and patted Monty on the head.<p>

His phone told him that it was just after nine, which meant he had less than half an hour to bring Monty home, have a quick shower and pick up Kensi's donuts. He dried himself off, and Monty too, and gathered their things, making his way to the car. He tossed his bag into the trunk, and opened the driver's side door, calling for Monty to climb in. Monty instantly took his seat in the passenger side, patiently waiting for his owner to harness him in. Deeks, however, pulled out his phone, and called the bakery, placing his order for collection, and trading small talk with the owner who knew both himself and Kensi well by now.

Monty had clambered into his lap during the call, and Deeks smiled, wrapping his arms around his dog and resting his head on Monty's. Getting an idea, he raised his phone and snapped a quick picture, before ushering Monty off of his lap, and strapping his beloved side kick into his seat.

Deeks only spent two minutes wondering what he would caption the photo before he sent it to his partner, a grin on his face at the thought of her seeing it.

Once he was home, he laid out food and water for Monty, and tossed his wetsuit into the hamper in the bathroom. A five minute shower later, Deeks hurried to get dressed and was back in his car, heading for the bakery.

"Good morning, Marty!" The owner greeted him warmly, sliding a box across the counter.

"Morning," Deeks replied, fishing the money from his wallet. He handed it over, sending a wave towards the owner's wife, who was busy stocking one of the shelves with her delicious creations.

"Kensi is going to be very pleased with the selection this morning." Mr. Tanner tossed Deeks a wry grin, causing the blonde man to chuckle.

"She always is. Thank you." With another polite smile, Deeks gathered up the box with Kensi's name on it, and returned to his car. Another quick picture later, Deeks was grinning as he made his way into work, eagerly anticipating the excited glint in his partner's eye when she would get her hands on her beloved sugary treats.

* * *

><p>Sure enough, Kensi barely said good morning before kidnapping the box of donuts and picking out her favourite first.<p>

"Mornin' partner," Deeks laughed.

"Might wanna slow down there, Kensi." Callen remarked, a smirk on his face.

"No." Kensi shook her head, munching on the last bite of her first donut,"Too good."

"Only the best for Kensalina." Deeks quipped, sending her a wink. He was delighted to see the small smile on her face, and slight blush that rose to her cheeks at his wink. Kensi bent her head to try and hide it, before reaching for her second donut.

Sam arrived then, and Callen went to pour himself a cup of coffee. There were a few brief moments of silence before Callen looked thoughtfully towards the top of the stairs.

Sam raised an eyebrow,"What is it, G?"

"Where's Eric?"

At the mention of the IT expert, each of them all turned their heads towards the stairs. As if their eyes would make Eric appear, they waited for a moment before Kensi spoke.

"Shouldn't he be telling us we have a case by now?"

"No." Another voice answered Kensi's question. Hetty approached, her hands clasped behind her back as usual,"Because you don't."

"No cases?" Callen asked, his tone nearing disbelief,"At all?"

"Not for _your_ team, Mr. Callen, no. Today, each of you are on desk work, and not field work." Hetty extended her hands,"Think of it as... a break, after the situation with Mr. Brown last week. Some of you may even use this opportunity to catch up on your reports."

"Is that aimed at me?" Deeks asked, pointing at himself,"'Cause I feel like it's aimed at me."

"Perhaps you could stand to catch up, Mr. Deeks, but alas, I have a different itinerary for you."

Deeks perked up,"Really? What is it?" The man stood up, pointing at his teammates and giving a giddy laugh.

"Have fun with your reports, I'm going on a field trip!"

"Yes you are," Hetty stopped him short. "To LAPD."

Deeks pouted,"I think I'd rather do my reports."

"Director Bates has requested your presence immediately. He has told me some of it, and I agree that it is important you get over there immediately. I will call, and inform him that you are on the way."

With that, Hetty said no more as she turned on her heel and walked back to her own desk. Deeks slowly turned back to his friends, scratching the back of his head.

"Uh, okay, yeah... sure."

"Well, that wasn't vague." Kensi commented, leaning forward on her desk and clasping her hands. "Any idea why Bates wants to talk to you?"

Sam rolled his head towards the shaggy-haired detective,"What did you do?"

"I am appalled by the assumption that I did something wrong!" Deeks feigned offense, and then trailed off, thoughtful,"I mean I could have, but I have no memory of it." With a quick drum of his hands against the top of his desk, Deeks grabbed his jacket, and shrugged lightly,"Guess we'll find out."

"We'll get your bail money ready," Callen teased, earning a sarcastic laugh from Deeks as the blonde man made his way towards the door. He stopped by Kensi's desk, and tossed her a lazy grin.

"Save me a donut, yeah?"

"If you're lucky," Kensi replied with a sweet grin and a flutter of her dark lashes.

Deeks widened his grin,"My middle name is lucky, Kensalina. Well technically, it isn't, but -" He stopped,"I'm gonna go now."

"Text me," Kensi called softly after him,"So I know that we don't really need bail money, okay?"

Deeks nodded,"It'll be fine."

"_Text_ me."

"I promise."

* * *

><p>Walking through LAPD was becoming increasingly foreign to him. Deeks had made a few friends that he still occasionally hung out with and made sure to stop and chat with them before heading to Lieutenant Bates' office.<p>

"Deeks," Bates shook Deeks's hand in greeting, motioning for him to take a seat. The man had become a lot less abrupt with Deeks after the Quinn incident. Deeks sat down.

"I feel like I've been sent to the principal's office." Deeks quipped as Bates took his seat behind his desk,"So tell me boss, what did I do?"

"You're not in trouble, Deeks." Bates paused,"Bet you don't hear that everyday."

Deeks shrugged in agreement,"So what am I here for?"

Bates averted his eyes,"How's your partner?"

"Kensi's good."

"How are things between you two?"

Deeks opened his mouth, and then closed it again,"You're stalling."

Sighing, Bates adjusted his tie,"I called you here... 'cause I need you to go undercover."

Deeks nodded slowly. After all, going undercover was his job. Working at NCIS hadn't made him forget that he was a detective, and still had responsibilities, and obligations to LAPD.

"What's the case?"

"Human trafficking." Bates answered with a heavy exhale, sliding a manilla folder towards Deeks. He took it, and began to flip through it as Bates spoke.

"We received a tip last week that one of the most notorious drug cartels were operating in downtown LA. However, that's the only information we've gotten. Last night, seventeen-year-old Laci Connors was found dead in an alleyway. She ran away from home about a month ago, and her parents expressed fears that she had gotten into drugs. We're waiting for the toxicology report, but as you can see from the pictures, we can see -"

"Injection scars. She'd been using for awhile." Deeks sighed. As he read further, he didn't like what he saw. Defensive wounds, multiple lacerations and - Deeks felt his stomach turn - sexual assault.

"How many other girls are missing?"

"Four, Laci included." Bates slid the photos of the missing girls across the table,"Rena Kyle, Antonia Martin, Sylvia Cho, and Jessica Giles. And it's not just girls." Bates produced two more pictures, and set them atop the pictures of the girls,"Andrew Marsh and Ian Lowell."

"They're taking boys too?"

"Recruiting them, maybe. Marsh's parents knew he was affiliated with drugs, said they suspected he was in a gang. They believe he willingly joined the cartel. Lowell however, was abducted. We know that for certain. There was a witness."

"Who?"

"Lowell's younger brother. He's nine. All we got from him was that big men with tattoos on their necks came along when he was riding his bike. According to him, the men tried to grab him, but Ian attacked. He hit one of the men with a baseball bat, and Ian told his little brother to run. That was the last anyone saw of Ian."

"Oh, my God..." Deeks felt sick, his hand coming up to rub his scruffy jaw. These cases always got to him.

"Yeah," Bates nodded, and that was all Deeks needed to know that Bates was just as disgusted by the case.

Deeks looked through the photos of the teenagers, all ranging from fifteen to nineteen, and the breath escaped his lungs.

"They're just kids." After another moment, Deeks glanced back at Bates, his jaw set.

"When do I go under?"

"Tomorrow. Noon. We're gonna work on your alias here, and Ms. Lange has agreed to have her people work on back stopping. In her words, the cartel will have to dig to China in order to find Marty Deeks."

"Eric and Nell will make sure of that," Deeks nodded, a small smile gracing his lips. It disappeared quickly when he thought of Kensi. He had only just gotten her back, and now he had to leave? The case was important, and he knew she would understand, but that didn't mean he wanted to leave her behind. He didn't want to be torn away from her, unable to see her smile or hear her laugh.

But it was his job, and it needed to be done.

"How long am I going under for?"

Bates held out his hands, his way of expressing that he had no answer. "The Cartel aren't stupid. It's gonna take a lot of work for you to get into their good books. My only advice is; don't pack for a weekend away."

"Yes, sir." Deeks pursed his lips. Standing up,"I should get back to NCIS. I'll be here tomorrow, at noon."

"I'll see you then. And Deeks -"

Deeks paused at the door, his hand barely brushing the doorknob,"Yeah?"

"You'll bring them in."

"Thank you, sir."

* * *

><p>Sitting outside NCIS, Deeks went back over the case file a few hundred times. This one wasn't going to be easy on him. It wasn't going to be easy on any of them.<p>

Working as an undercover detective, Deeks had always known that there were things he would have to do and say that Martin Deeks would never say, and never do. Max Gentry was evidence of just how far he would have to go in order to keep his cover in tact.

A shiver ran up his spine at the thought of Max, and he quickly set the case file aside, wondering miserably who he would have to become for this case.

Intentionally breaking the law he was working to support was something that Deeks had almost grown accustomed to. But only almost.

The day he became fully accustomed was the day that he would hand in his badge. The day that the guilt, and the pain caused by his undercover missions went away was the day that Deeks would walk away.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and Deeks grimaced as he pulled his phone out. He had forgotten to text Kensi, and now her caller ID image was on his screen. He allowed himself to smile for a moment at the picture, his worries and strife disappearing as Kensi's face beamed at him.

It had been taken by her when she had been slightly drunk and had access to his phone. He was in the picture with her, though hadn't been looking at the camera. Kensi's tongue was poking out, and he was smiling into her hair in the picture. It was one of his, and secretly her, favourites.

"Hey -"

"There you are!" Kensi breathed, her tone teasing,"Thought I was gonna have to stage a jail-break, partner. Or leave you in there because that would mean more donuts for me."

"That would also mean you'd have to get them yourself, princess."

"True." Kensi trailed off,"That would be a pain. Okay, I'll bust you out for that reason and that reason only."

"Right, 'cause you totally wouldn't miss me."

"Nope," Kensi said, popping the 'p', and despite her words, her voice was light and teasing. "Only the donuts."

"Ouch, why do you have to wound me?" Deeks laughed, running a hand through his shaggy hair.

"Builds character," was her reply. "Where are you, anyway?"

"Uh, outside, actually." It was silent on the other end of the line, and Deeks frowned,"Kens?"

"Look up," Kensi's voice returned, and Deeks obeyed. The door to NCIS was open, and Kensi was motioning him towards her. Deeks quickly tucked the case file underneath the passenger seat, and hung up his phone, climbing out and joining her at the door.

Kensi bit the inside of her bottom lip, leaning against the wall inside the door,"How did it go?"

Deeks instantly tensed, and he knew that Kensi had noticed the change in his body language. Her eyebrows furrowed, her mismatched eyes becoming concerned.

Deeks cleared his throat,"I don't wanna talk about it here. I'm not -"

"Okay, we can go outside," Kensi made a move for the door, and Deeks reached out, his fingers wrapping around her slender wrist.

"Not yet." Deeks took a deep breath. He knew that he should tell her. Let her know that by noon tomorrow she would be partner-less for an indefinite period of time. But he couldn't. Not at work, where anyone could turn the corner at any moment. He felt as though they both deserved more than that.

"Tonight," He spoke again, and managed to plaster a smile on his lips. "My place. I'll bring the food, if you bring the beer."

A smile appeared on Kensi's face, one that mirrored his, though the concern in her eyes and the nervous twitch of her wrist never left.

"Deal."

"I have to go talk to Hetty," Deeks spoke up, inhaling through his nose. The urge to touch her came over him, even though he still had his fingers loosely wrapped around her wrist. His own fingers itched to brush back her hair, and his lips dreamed of kissing her forehead.

But they weren't there just yet, so Deeks settled on squeezing her hand, and giving her one last smile before letting her go, and walking away.

_Tonight._


	2. Chapter 2

**The Road Ahead**

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

* * *

><p>The rest of the working day came and went. At around five, Hetty came along to tell them all that they were free to leave. Sam had immediately jumped up, content to go home and spend the rest of the day with his wife and daughter, whilst Callen planned to surprise Joelle by picking her up from work and taking her out to dinner.<p>

Kensi, meanwhile, didn't know what to do with herself. She and Deeks had agreed that she would head over to his at eight, leaving her with three hours to spare, time spent wondering what her partner was keeping from her.

He had spent a lot of the day either talking to Hetty, or up in Ops with Eric and Nell, who had suddenly become very secretive. Even when Deeks was working on reports with herself, Sam and Callen, he kept his head down and actually worked.

There were no paper airplanes launched in her direction, or cheesy jokes, or surprise emails with funny internet memes. He barely even looked at her. Kensi tried not to take it personally, as he also barely spoke to Sam or Callen too. Just a few comments here and there, which Kensi knew he was only giving to throw off suspicion that anything was off.

The other two partners had picked up on the blonde detective's unusual silence however, and Callen had raised an eyebrow at Kensi, silently asking if she knew what was up. Kensi could only shrug her shoulders; she was as out of the loop as they were.

However, it became clear towards the end of the day that Sam and Callen had joined the secret loop. Kensi had gone to the bathroom, and when she had come back, Deeks refused to meet her eye, and Sam had given her one of his warm smiles. The ones reserved for her after a particularly tough case, when Sam would bump her knuckles with his, call her some nickname like 'champ' or 'kiddo', and give her that smile. The one that said 'you'll be alright'.

So when Kensi got home, after settling on a time to show up at her partner's place, she found herself restless. Doing paperwork to expel energy didn't have the same effect as chasing down a bad guy did, and Kensi was about to burst. She cleaned around her house, took a shower, and still had an hour and a half to spare by the time she was finished.

As she stood in the middle of her living room, unable to bring herself to settle on the couch for a while, she got an idea. Her mother was always pestering her to come visit, and since Kensi had been so busy with work, Kensi hadn't ever had the time. But she did now.

On her way out, Kensi stopped in front of the mirror. She would be heading to Deeks's place straight from her mother's, and wanted to make sure she looked okay. She wasn't sure when she had become so obsessed about her appearance and what Deeks thought of it was beyond her. After all, it was Deeks. He had seen her in some pretty ridiculous, pretty sloppy, outfits before, and still maintained his belief that she was beautiful.

The thought made her smile, a blush rising to her cheeks before she remembered that she had reacted to his compliment by punching him in the shoulder. Growing embarrassed at her own foolish reaction, Kensi pushed the thought away and grabbed up her keys and purse.

The next time Deeks called her beautiful, Kensi would not punch him.

The next time Deeks called her beautiful, Kensi would...

A memory hit her, and Kensi nearly stumbled back, the blush from before now raging and creeping down her neck, all the way down to her toes.

Lips on hers, gentle hands on her face, and the rough pad of a thumb stroking her jaw. Their first real kiss.

Yes, the next time Deeks called her beautiful, Kensi would probably kiss him.

Shaking her head quickly, Kensi took a deep breath before quickly exiting her home, and locking the door behind her, and locking all those memories back where they came from.

* * *

><p>Parking outside her mother's house, Kensi realized she probably should have at least texted Julia to let her know she was dropping by. Kensi grimaced, and climbed out. Julia was always welcoming, but Kensi couldn't help but feel a tiny bit embarrassing about just showing up.<p>

Kensi approached the door and knocked a few times.

There was the sound of movement from inside, and finally Julia appeared. Her warm smile and kind eyes lit up when she saw her daughter, and the woman quickly ushered Kensi in for a hug.

Kensi smiled, and melted into the embrace,"Hey, mom."

"Oh, it's so good to see you, honey. Come on," Julia stepped back from the doorway, gently pulling Kensi in from outside. "Don't stay out there in the cold. You didn't even wear a jacket."

Kensi fought not to roll her eyes at the motherly disapproval in Julia's voice,"Mom, I'm a grown woman."

"Yes, a cold grown woman. Go sit in front of the fire, I'll make you a mug of hot chocolate."

A grin appeared on Kensi's face as she nearly skipped into the living room,"With cinnamon?"

"Just like when you were a kid," Julia confirmed, gliding into the kitchen. Kensi flopped onto the couch, letting the warmth of the open fire envelop her. She allowed her arm to drape over the edge of the couch, and sat up when her fingertips brushed the top of an open cardboard box.

Glancing towards the door, she waited for any sounds of her mother arriving to come, and allowed a sneaky peek when Julia never appeared.

Upon opening the other flap of the box, Kensi realized it was just a box of Christmas tree decorations. Kensi would have put the box back where she had found it, but an ornament made her pause.

There, laying on top of the pile, was a snowman shaped photo frame ornament that Kensi recognized from her childhood. In it, Julia held a baby Kensi, only aged a few months, who was too busy laughing at a face that Donald Blye was pulling to even pose for the camera. The picture made a small, but sad smile appear on Kensi's face.

"He loved that picture."

Kensi jumped, whirling around as Julia entered the room. She set two mugs of hot chocolate down on the coffee table and took a seat beside Kensi.

Julia peered over her daughter's shoulder, a soft ghost of a smile on her red-painted lips,"Every year when we decorated the tree, he would wait to put it up last. The final piece to a perfect puzzle, he said. Every year, I wait until everything else is up to hang that picture at the centre of the tree."

A wave of sadness appeared over Julia's face before she suddenly perked up again, and Kensi envied her mother's ability to separate the pain of the past from the present.

"That actually reminds me; I wanted you to come with me to pick out a tree this year. Just the two of us. I was thinking we could spend Christmas together this year. Properly, like the old times." Julia smiled again, pushing back a strand of Kensi's hair,"We haven't had a Christmas together since you were fifteen."

It was true. They had attempted it, but Kensi had always been working to actually go through with any plans. Kensi nodded softly,"Like the old times."

Julia's smile couldn't get any brighter as she handed Kensi her mug of chocolate, and wrapped her arm around her daughter's shoulder.

"Will Deeks be joining us this year?" Julia inquired, a hint of knowing in her tone, and Kensi paused. Julia loved Deeks. They had interacted a few times since Julia had been back in Kensi's life, and Kensi knew the two of them adored each other. Julia also knew that Deeks didn't really have any family, or at least no one he was close with, and had taken it upon herself to group him in with their little family.

Julia knew that wherever Kensi went, Deeks wasn't far behind.

Kensi thought back to his behavior during the day. Whatever he needed to tell her, it obviously wasn't good. Kensi mustered a smile for her mother, and shrugged her shoulders.

"Maybe. We'll have to see..."

* * *

><p>Kensi stayed with her mom for another little while before bidding her goodnight with a hug, and a kiss on the cheek. As soon as the front door closed, and Kensi was tucked away from the cold inside her car, the nerves began to unfurl in her stomach, reaching up and squeezing her heart.<p>

The more time she spent out of the loop, the more time her brain had to hurl far too many unpleasant scenarios at her. She needed to find out what it was that Deeks was keeping from her, before her heart gave out.

With that thought, Kensi set off towards the store. Grabbing a case of beer and a selection of candy, Kensi purchased her items and made her way back to the car, setting off towards her partner's house.

She parked outside, staring up at his place. The lights were on, and Kensi took a deep breath. She had a feeling that whatever went down that night, would change everything.

Grabbing up the supplies, she exited her car. A few beers usually meant that someone was staying the night, be it him at her place, or her at his. Kensi had her go back in the trunk of her car, stored there with essentials purely for occupational reasons.

Though she used it more for impromptu sleepover reasons nowadays.

As she approached the door, she could hear the sound of Monty's eager sniffing behind it. The dog gave a bark, and Kensi smiled.

"Okay, buddy, I know, Kensi's here." Marty chuckled from behind the door. He opened it, leaning against the frame and greeting her with a cheeky smile,"I'm excited too."

Kensi rolled her eyes, pushing by him and shoving the supplies into his hands. She hurried over to the couch, flopping down and holding out her arms as Monty happily jumped up beside her. Kensi kicked off her shoes, and snuggled down with the dog, accepting his kisses, and placing a kiss of her own to his snout.

"How come I don't get greeted like that?" Deeks called from the kitchen, where he was busy gathering up the food, and popping open two beers.

"Monty's cuter!" Kensi called back, earning a chuckle.

"Can't deny that," Deeks smiled, handing her her food and beer. He took his seat on her other side, warmly reaching over and patting Monty, who had lay his head in Kensi's lap.

Kensi ate her food slowly, anxiously waiting for him to bring up whatever it was he wanted to talk to her about. Deeks, on the other hand, seemed content to delay the inevitable, bickering with her about some movie they had decided to settle on.

They had relaxed into a comfortable silence, sharing a few comments here and there about the low budget movie they were watching. Monty had gotten up at one point, stretching out and moving off to somewhere else in the apartment.

Kensi used this shift to her advantage, sitting forward and placing her empty take out carton on the coffee table. She picked up the remote, and switched off the television, before clasping her hands in her lap.

"Deeks?"

"Yes?"

"Are we gonna talk about it, or what?"  
>Deeks sighed, rolling his neck before he too sat forward, and set down his empty carton.<p>

"We are, Kens, I just... I don't know how to... how to start." Deeks scratched the back of his head, reaching down beside the couch,"Uh, here, this would probably explain faster."

Kensi took the manila folder he presented to her, instantly flipping it open. Her heart grew heavy as she read the case details, her stomach twisting as her eyes roamed over the innocent faces.

"Oh, my God..." She whispered, closing it once she saw the body of Laci Connors. The report listed her injuries, cause of death, but it was the age that caught Kensi's eye. Only seventeen.

Kensi set the file aside, feeling as though it was burning her hands. She looped a strand of hair behind her ear, glancing back to her partner. Deeks read nothing but understanding, and a little bit of sadness, in her beautifully mismatched eyes.

"They want you to go under," She stated, clasping her hands again.

"Kens, I have to." Deeks began, and she placed a hand on his chest, nodding her head.

"I_ know._" She spoke sincerely. Deeks watched as her teeth tugged her bottom lip into her mouth, and let it go again after a moment.

"How long?" She asked, and he swallowed hard.

"I don't know. I've been on ops like this that haven taken months... a year, even. It's slow work. Can't be rushed."

Kensi looked down at her lap, shaking her head,"But you're my _partner._"

"I know."

"Maybe I can go under with you."  
>"No." Deeks shook his head immediately,"Kens, don't protest. I can't have you tearing yourself away from your life for who knows how long. You have your mom."<p>

"And you have _me_." Kensi insisted firmly,"And the team, and Monty."

"Yeah, but you don't_ have_ to do this." Deeks argued,"If you went under with me, it would be a _choice_, and I can't let you make that choice."

"I can make whatever choice I want, _Marty_."

"Kensi, _please_." The blond pleaded,"If you go under with me, I'll be too preoccupied with looking after you. I know you can take care of yourself, before you start reminding me, but I'll still be more focused on you. These guys... I can't let you get onto their radar. Kens, I can't."

Kensi's shoulders slumped in defeat, and she fought the overwhelming sense of disappointment and hurt that seemed intent on taking over her. She so desperately wanted to insist on going under with him. The thought of him out there alone, without the team for backup - and the thought of her, without him by her side... it hurt.

"Fine," Sighed the brunette. "I know you have to go under, I wouldn't dream of asking you not to. Especially not for a case like this. These kids... they need the best."

Deeks's lips quirked up in a smile,"Was that a compliment?"

Kensi rolled her eyes, tossing him a shy smile,"Well, apparently you're _the best they can do_."  
>A chuckle fell from his lips, and he nodded,"Damn straight, Fern."<p>

Smiling, Kensi shook her head at him before allowing the smile to fade. The urge to reach out and touch his cheek overcame her, and before she knew it, her fingertips were brushing against the rough stubble on his jaw.

"I'm just... after the last time we were separated..."

"I know," Deeks whispered, clearing his throat. "I don't want to leave you either."

"But you have to." Kensi added, with another sigh as she removed her hand from his face,"So this is why you spent the day with Hetty up in Ops, then."

"Yeah," Deeks confirmed, missing the warmth of her touch. "Eric and Nell were working on backstopping, and my new identity. Then Hetty and I worked on selecting your own personal Deeks replacement."

"Not a replacement." Kensi corrected him sharply, and Deeks felt his heart leap. A soft smile teased his mouth,"Substitute, then."

"Please don't tell me you stuck me with some schmuck," Kensi groaned, leaning back on the couch.

Deeks chuckled wickedly,"Oh the desire to was overwhelming, but instead, I picked a good one. Jacqueline Rhodes."

"I know her." Kensi nodded,"She's a senior agent."

"Yep, and she makes the greatest brownies." Deeks put his hand to his heart,"She's good, and she's nice. You'll like her."

Kensi smirked,"Oh, and it's interesting how she's _female_."

"What?" Deeks let out a nervous laugh,"Whoa, what a _crazy_ coincidence."

Kensi laughed, swatting him on the arm as she leaned forward and took a swig of her beer. Finding it was empty, she shrugged and reached for his.

"So, do you have everything sorted?" Kensi asked, earning a nod.

"Mostly. LAPD is taking care of most of it, and my go-bag is ready. All that's left is finding someone to watch over Monty."

"I'll do that," Kensi scoffed, waving him off. "And when I'm in work, he can go to my mother's."

"Kens, I don't want to put that on your mom."

"She'll love it," Kensi shrugged. "She's thinking of getting a dog, and it'll be like practice. Besides, it would only be for a few hours a day."

Deeks squeezed her knee gently,"Thanks, Kens. I guess all that's left is to enjoy a relaxing night with my partner."

"I'm staying over, then?" Kensi asked, and Deeks eyed his beer bottle, which was sitting in Kensi's hand.

"Well, you're not driving."

She laughed, taking another swig before handing the bottle to him. Standing up, she fixed her shirt, and headed for the door.

"I just have to get my bag. I left it in the trunk."

* * *

><p>Later on that night, as they decided to turn in for the night, Deeks shuffled around his bedroom. Kensi was in the shower, he could hear the water running.<p>

He changed out of his jeans and t-shirt, using the spare bathroom to brush his teeth and pulling on grey sweatpants, and an old LAPD t-shirt from his academy days.

He went around his house, turning off all the lights and locking up. He lay out water for Monty, and patted his beloved pet's head before returning to his bedroom, just as the door to the en-suite opened.

Kensi emerged, and Deeks had to force himself to not stare at her long legs. Kensi's insistence to wear cotton shorts to bed would always drive him crazy, making him feel like a teenage boy again. He had given her one of his jumpers to throw over her camisole on her way into the bathroom, to give her that extra bit of warmth.

Her hair was still slightly damp, curling around her face, which was devoid of makeup. Deeks let out a breath, and was rewarded with a hint of a blush.

"Are you hovering again?" She asked, referring to his nervous shuffling.

Deeks grimaced. He should have known she'd see through his reluctance to sit down. So many times before, she had emerged from the shower to find him already sprawled out, snoring lightly.

"You know when you're a kid," Deeks began,"And you go to bed early on Christmas, or your birthday, because it'll make the next day come quicker, and you can't wait? Kinda feeling the opposite of that right now. It's not tomorrow until I sleep, and... I'm not looking forward to tomorrow."

Kensi understood, and stepped forward. There wasn't much she could say to make things better for him, but she tentatively reached out, and grasped his hand in hers. Deeks instinctively interlocked their fingers.

"I'm really gonna miss you, Marty." Kensi admitted, the blush from before coming back,"Please, be safe... and come home soon."

Deeks brushed her damp hair off her neck, letting his fingers brush by her pulse point. He was secretly delighted when he felt it spike against his touch, but he removed his hand.

"I promise." Giving into the warm feeling in his stomach, Deeks tugged her forward, and wrapped one arm around her back. The other went to her hair, as Kensi leaned in and wound her arms around his waist.

"I'm gonna miss you too, partner."

Kensi lay her cheek against his chest, his heartbeat thumping away underneath her ear, and causing her to melt into his embrace,"You come back for those check ins, right?"

"Yeah. Every week, or month, depending on the case."

Kensi moved so she was looking up at him, her hands still locked around him. There was an impish grin on her face, a look of excitement replacing the look of sadness he had seen earlier.

"Maybe I can arrange to be there... when you check in."  
>His breath rushed out of him then, and his grin matched hers. The thought of seeing her at least once of month took away so much from his shoulders, and his heart.<p>

As Deeks stared into Kensi's delighted eyes, his chest swelling with unchecked affection for the woman, he couldn't help but allow his blue eyes to drift towards her soft pink lips.

Kensi's own eyes went to his, and back up to his eyes. Deeks flushed, knowing he and his thoughts had been caught, and went to move back.

But Kensi stopped him.

With a hand pressed to his cheek, Kensi pulled his face down to hers, stopping just as his lips reached hers. His mouth hovered above hers, and Kensi's breath came in a gasp.

Deeks tilted his head up, teasingly brushing his lips against hers, but refusing to give in straight away. Kensi was giving him full permission to go where they both knew they were headed, and he was going to savor it.

Plus, the slight huff of impatience Kensi gave made him smirk.

Just when Kensi was resigning herself to closing the gap, Deeks leaned his head to the side, and captured her bottom lip between his lips.

He sucked, and nipped, before letting go and doing the same to her top lip.

Kensi wound her arms around his neck as he pulled back, and crashed her lips to his. Deeks grinned, cupping her face in his hands, before letting them fall to her hips as he pulled her closer.

He walked her backwards, and stopped when her back met the closed door to the bathroom. In need of air, Deeks broke the kiss, but wasted no time in moving his lips to her neck.

Kensi let her head fall back, a whimper escaping her as his teeth nipped at her delicate, burning skin. Deeks braced one hand on the door behind her, using the other one to grasp the back of her knee, and wrap it around his hip.

The new angle allowed Kensi to feel his length against her thigh, and she groaned, remembering the last time they had been like this together. It had been a year ago now, but the memories were still deliciously fresh.

Unable to take not feeling his skin on hers, Kensi made quick work of tugging his shirt over his head. Her hands eagerly explored the expanse of his bare chest, and Deeks pulled back, helping her to rid herself of the jumper of his that she wore. Her tank top quickly followed, and Deeks was delighted to find that she had neglected to put on a bra after her shower.

With her pressed against him, her lips and tongue doing sinfully seductive things to his mouth, Deeks bent down, and hooked his arms underneath her legs. Kensi jumped up, and wrapped her legs around him, re-attaching their lips as Deeks walked them towards his bed.

As they toppled down onto the mattress, both of them laughing together as they landed less than gracefully, Deeks brought his lips to her collarbone, and knew there was no better way to lead him into the next day, than spending the night with his partner.

* * *

><p>Oh my gosh, I want to thank all of you for the response to the first chapter. It was truly overwhelming, and I apologise for the delay in posting the second chapter.<p>

It was my first time writing something along those lines, and I wanted to write it as well as I could, hence the delay. Hopefully you guys are content with this, and I can't wait to hear from you all! :)

- Megan


	3. Chapter 3

**The Road Ahead**

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing**.**

* * *

><p>Kensi had had this dream many times.<p>

One where she was wrapped up in her partner's arms, welcoming the morning with her usual dislike of the early hour, whilst being all snuggled up beside his warm body. Her ear pressed to his heart, she could hear him chuckle before his lips found her forehead, and he promised to buy her whatever sugary treat she wanted if she wasn't late for work.

But then, she would wake up. The happiness and sheer contentment would dissolve into disappointment when she realized that, instead of cuddling her partner, she had been cuddling her pillow. There was no smile greeting her, making her stomach dance with tiny little butterflies, and certainly no sweet kisses.

That was why Kensi had always simultaneously hated those dreams. They were lovely whilst she was still asleep, tucked away safely in dreamland, but oh did they cause an ache when she woke up alone.

This morning, however, her partner didn't disappear as soon as she opened her eyes. Nuzzling further down into the blankets, she rubbed the sleep from her eyes, and tilted her head upwards.

Deeks was laying on his back, one hand behind his head, and the other stroking unintelligible words on the skin of her bare shoulder.

Struck by the memory of the last time she woke up in her partner's arms, Kensi couldn't help but compare the past and the present.

Last time, she had gotten up first. She had rushed around, pulling on her clothes and ordering him to move before they were late for work. Both of them had struggled to find words, the weight of the night they had shared causing too many emotions to come bubbling to the surface.

Now, however, she had no desire to move, and it seemed that neither did he. A breathtaking smile rose to his lips, and he brought the hand that had rested behind his own head to her face. Brushing his thumb along her cheek, he smoothed one of her unruly curls behind her ear. Kensi flushed, hiding her face in his chest.

She forgot about her bed head.

Deeks chuckled, and Kensi sighed against him, feeling the rumble of his chest underneath her hand. Nuzzling her nose along his skin, she placed a kiss over his heart, and was rewarded with a slight shiver from the man.

Neither of them spoke. They didn't need to. As Kensi glanced up at him again, giving him a sleepy smile of her own, they both knew that no words needed to be spoken just yet.

Besides, they had spoken all through the night. In between losing themselves in each other, they just talked. The subjects discussed weren't anything heavy - just funny memories and anecdotes. It had been nice. Really nice.

Deeks pulled her closer to him, as though it was even possible, and bent his head to kiss her nose. Kensi let out a giggle - yes, a _giggle_ - and ducked her head again.

Truth be told, she was afraid to look at the clock, though she couldn't help doing so. **8:50**

Not so bad, she thought. If she called in to work, saying she'd be in late, she could stay with Deeks until he had to leave. It would give her four hours of Marty Deeks, before waking up with him like this became a memory.

Just as she prepared herself to move, her phone began to ring. Whimpering softly, Kensi wrapped her arms tighter around Deeks for a moment before rolling away from him. She grabbed her phone, frowning at the caller ID before answering.

"Kensi."

"Ah, Ms. Blye," Hetty's slow voice greeted her. "Good morning."

"Morning," Kensi replied,"Is everything okay?"

Feeling Deeks roll up behind her, his arm winding around her stomach, he rose an eyebrow.

"Everything's fine," Hetty replied. "I was just calling to confirm that you won't be joining us until this afternoon, yes?"

"Everything okay?" Deeks mouthed, and Kensi nodded. The blond haired detective nodded in return, pressing a kiss to Kensi's shoulder before rolling out of bed.

Kensi opened her mouth to answer her boss, only to fall silent as she watched her partner slip a pair of grey sweatpants over his lithe hips.

"Ms. Blye?"

Flustered, Kensi nearly jumped as Hetty's voice sounded again. Deeks turned to look at her before he slipped out of the room, smirking playfully at her. Kensi picked up a pillow, and hurled it across the room at him.

"Uh, yeah," Kensi answered finally as Deeks closed the door at the last minute, letting the pillow hit the door. He opened the door again, childishly poked out his tongue, and then disappeared.

"If that's okay." Kensi continued respectfully.

"Yes, it's okay. Uh, do me a favor Kensi?"

"Yes?"

"Make sure Mr. Deeks stops by Ops before he leaves. I'm sure that the team would like to see him off."

"Of course," Kensi nodded, and then paused. "I will, when I see him. Later."

"_Later_," Agreed Hetty, her tone holding the type of amusement that said '_I see right through you, Kensi_'. Kensi knew that tone well. Deeks was a fan of using it on her.

Kensi quickly said her goodbye, pressing her hands to her warm cheeks. There was no way that Hetty could know.

Right?

Grimacing, Kensi brightened as she heard the familiar sound of paws approaching the door. Monty appeared, his tail wagging excitedly as he spotted her. Sprinting across the room, he jumped onto the bed and planted himself beside her.

"Hey!" Kensi whispered,"Daddy doesn't let you on the bed, remember?"

As Monty stared at her, using puppy eyes that Deeks must have taught him (or vice versa), Kensi couldn't scold him. Smiling, she ruffled his fur as he licked the underside of her chin.

The sound of Deeks humming traveled into the room, getting louder as he got more and more into whatever song was playing on the radio. Kensi rested her chin on top of Monty's head, sighing.

"You're gonna miss him too, huh?"

Monty huffed in response, and the two of them fell into silence before the scent of bacon perked them both up. Monty was the first one out the door, whilst Kensi took a few moments.

Her bag was by the door, containing a fresh pair of clothes, but as she pulled on her grey jeans, the sight of one of his plaid shirts proved much more tempting than her simple, white cotton v-neck.

Kensi grabbed a grey singlet from her bag, and pulled it over her head before slipping her arms through the sleeves of his shirt. Leaving it open, she rolled the navy and white sleeves up to her elbows. She knew he wouldn't mind; it wasn't the first time she had borrowed his clothes, and every time, his eyes would grow a touch darker at the sight of her wearing his things.

She tugged on a pair of navy vans and tied her hair back into a loose ponytail.

Her stomach was growling as she made her way into the kitchen. Deeks moved around easily, dishing out two plates of breakfast for them.

When he looked at her, Deeks couldn't help the grin at the sight of her in his shirt. He leaned his hip against the counter, holding up the two plates.

"Mushroom omelet, bacon, and hash browns." Deeks announced, handing the plates to her. He rummaged through the cupboard, and pulled out a familiar packet that made Kensi's eyes light up.

"And ding dongs - because the rules of Kensi dictates that chocolate must be consumed during every meal."

Kensi laughed,"The rules of Kensi?"

"Yep. It's really interesting," Deeks beamed as they sat down to enjoy their breakfast. "There's a guidebook and everything."

As Kensi dug in, occasionally sneaking bits of bacon to Monty, who waited patiently under the table, Deeks watched her with a smile.

"So, what did Hetty want?"

Kensi paused,"Just to say that I didn't have to come in for another few hours. And she wants you to drop into Ops before you leave. I told her that I'd tell you when I saw you later."

There was an impish grin on Kensi's face as she finished her last bite of food, and Deeks suddenly felt giddy. He grinned back at her, the two of them reveling in this small, _probably-not-so-secret_ secret as they cleaned up the remains of their breakfast.

* * *

><p>Discussion passed between them on how to spend the rest of their day together, and after finishing up a few last minute things, they decided to go for a walk.<p>

As Kensi loaded a bag full of Monty's supplies into her car, his owner made quick work of attaching his lead. The beach wasn't far from where Deeks lived, so they decided to go there and enjoy the early morning sunshine.

Kensi was sure, even if it had been raining, that she still would have felt deliciously warm. There was a small knot in the back of her stomach, growing as time went by, though Kensi did her best to ignore it for now. It could be dealt with later. Right now, she wanted to focus on the moment.

As her head began to drift away from the present, she felt Deeks's hand brush against hers, before the pads of his fingers were applying gentle pressure to her hand, prompting it to uncurl.

Deeks threaded his fingers through hers, and Kensi leaned into him, enjoying the feel of his larger hand against her smaller one. Kensi rested her head against his shoulder, and Deeks leaned down to kiss her hair as they arrived at the beach, and let Monty free.

They spent an hour at the beach, careful not to lose track of time even if they desperately wanted to. They walked back to Deeks's place, loading Monty and Deeks's duffel into Kensi's car. It was agreed that Kensi would bring Deeks to the ops building, and then drive him to the LAPD building, saying goodbye to him there before returning to work.

The rules of the road _may have been_ to keep both hands on the wheel at all times, but Kensi couldn't bring herself to pull her hand from her partner's lap as she drove, instead letting him play idly with her fingers.

They dropped Monty off at Kensi's place, setting him up. Kensi busied herself by turning on the animal channel (Deeks always left the tv on for him during the day; "_The noise makes him feel less lonely_.") whilst man and man's best friend said goodbye to each other.

Kensi could have sworn that Marty's eyes were a bit red when he emerged from the living room, but didn't comment on it. Instead, she took his hand again, and gave it a squeeze.

They remembered to let go of each other when they reached the ops center, putting a tiny bit of distance between them as they walked in.

Nell had texted Kensi to tell the partners that the team were up in the Ops center, waiting to discuss the details of the undercover op. Kensi took the stairs two at a time, letting Deeks trail behind.

As the brunette turned the corner, ready to greet her team, she paused. While she knew that a substitute partner had been lined up for her, it still took Kensi by surprise to see the woman standing amongst her fellow team members.

The woman instantly smiled when she saw Kensi, reminding Kensi that while they both knew of each other, neither one of them had ever spoken to each other before then.

"Oh, hello." Agent Rhodes greeted, sticking out her hand for Kensi to shake. "I'm Jacqueline Rhodes, but please, call me Jackie."

"Kensi," The younger agent nodded. "It's nice to meet you."

"Jackie!" Deeks called loudly, casually throwing his arm around the shoulders of the older woman,"I only have one thing to say now that you're officially Kensalina's stand-in partner - good luck."

Scoffing, Kensi reached out and pinched Deeks on the arm, causing the man to jump back with a yelp.

Jackie laughed,"Don't worry, I know he's joking. Marty here made sure to give me plenty of tips on how to make this adjustment work." Patting Deeks on the shoulder in a very motherly way, Jackie smiled,"He made sure you're going to be well taken care of."

"Did he now?" The teasing question came from Callen, who shared a look with Sam, who could barely conceal his grin.

"Heh," Deeks laughed nervously, rubbing at the back of his neck. "I told you there was a guidebook, Kens. Can we, uh, move on here?"

Smirking, Kensi rolled her eyes and turned to the large screen in Ops as Eric typed a few words quickly, and brought up some pictures. Most were the pictures of their missing kids, but the one picture in the middle made Kensi shiver.

She had seen many acts of evil in her time, but never had she seen someone who looked to be the physical embodiment of the word. The man in the picture looked to be in his late 30s - early 40s, with deep grey eyes and jet black hair. A large scar ran the length of his face, beginning at his hairline and ending at his chin. A large tattoo covered the right side of his face, opposite the scar. Kensi couldn't make much sense of it, as it was mainly just spirals and spikes, clearly aligned to be threatening.

But Kensi didn't find it threatening. In all honesty, the design looked a bit silly to her. What Kensi did find threatening was the way his mouth was set. Halfway between a smirk, and a snarl.

"Everyone meet Mikhail Eustis, otherwise known as 'the butcher'." Nell announced, unable to hide her dislike of the man in the picture,"Word around town is that he is the current leader of the cartel."

"He was released from prison in 2010 on a technicality," Eric informed them. "He was supposed to be on parole, but he disappeared from LAPD's radar up until a few months ago. One of LAPD's snitches spotted him downtown, but he was gone as soon as officers arrived. Then LAPD got tipped off last week that he was now in charge, and had been for a few years."

"This guy's got an impressive record." Callen muttered,"Arson, burglary, drug charges, aggravated assault, homicide - how in the hell did this guy ever get out of prison?"

"We are not sure, Mr. Callen." Hetty sighed,"His file disappeared soon after he did, and his lawyer was found dead two weeks after the hearing."

"Murder?" Kensi asked.

"No, a suicide." Hetty corrected,"It seems that Mr. Eustis had some information on him that his lawyer didn't want to get out. Damaging information, and not just to his career."

"So this guy is my new best friend, huh?" Deeks asked, though his tone was dark.

"If you want to choose lighter terms, then yes." Hetty nodded.

"You have to get close to him -" Sam began, only to be interrupted by Deeks.

"Earn his trust, I know." The blond detective sighed, leaning against the table.

As Deeks fell silent, the rest of the team began to discuss the case amongst themselves. Really, they weren't taking the lead here, LAPD was. It was their case, after all.

But Deeks was their liaison, and so much more than that. Kensi would bet that everyone on the team would agree with that, even Sam, though he would mask it with an insult no doubt.

As Hetty dismissed them all, wishing Deeks good luck and hoping for his safe return, Deeks turned to Jackie.

"Well, looks like you're up Rhodes."

"I'll take care of them." Jackie smiled, shaking Deeks's hand,"Good luck out there, Marty."

"Thanks."

"Ah, it's gonna be so much quieter with Jackie around." Sam took in a breath and released it, smiling dreamily into the air. Deeks just grinned.

"See all that? That's just a mask." Deeks waved his hand in Sam's face,"Really he's going to miss me, but Sam here has issues expressing his own emotions so nobody should mention the fact that he will clearly cry himself to sleep at night, waiting for me to come back."

As Deeks talked, Sam had begun to walk out and back to his desk. When he reached it, he stopped and pointed a finger at Deeks,"_That_. I am definitely not going to miss _that_."

"You wound me."

Sam rose his hand, closing it into a fist and bumping it against Deeks's knuckles,"Don't do anything stupid out there or I'll kick your ass."

"Deal." Deeks smiled, moving on to shake hands with Callen.

"Hetty's set up a secure line for Ops if you get into trouble," The team leader informed. "If you _do_ get into trouble, call us."

"I will." Deeks nodded, and then moved onto Eric and Nell, who both received hugs.

"Be safe," Nell whispered as she hugged Deeks tightly.

"Surfing won't be the same without you." Eric teased.

Wriggling his eyebrows, Deeks pointed towards Nell,"Guess you'll have to bring Nell to keep you company."

A blush exploded across Eric's face, causing all of them to grin.

Deeks glanced at the time and heaved a sigh,"Well, looks like I'm out. Don't miss me too much."

Despite his smile, there was a touch of sadness in Deeks's blue eyes. After all, this team was his family, and the thought of only seeing them once a month tugged at his heart.

The jingle of keys caused him to glance at his partner, and he felt his heart begin to break. Going undercover had become harder and harder ever since becoming her partner, and right now, after the night and morning after they had shared, it was nearly impossible.

But instead of crumbling like he wanted to, he gave her a smile.

"Let's go, partner."

* * *

><p><em>It was happening.<em>

That was the only thing going through Kensi's head at that moment. Bates would eventually stop talking, the car that Deeks's persona 'owned' would eventually be packed, and her partner would_ eventually _have to leave her side.

The clothes they put Deeks in were very similar to those of Max Gentry's, leather jacket and all. Kensi couldn't help but appreciate the sight of her partner in a leather jacket. Memories of his short-lived motorcycle phase sprung to mind, and Kensi shivered, shaking her head.

Bates was still talking when Kensi managed to clear her head, though she didn't have it in her to pay him any attention. Anxiety was creeping up on her as the seconds ticked by.

Sure, she liked Jackie. The woman was kind, and Deeks seemed to trust her. Kensi had no doubts that Jackie would become a friend, but the possibility of a new confidant couldn't smother the heartache she was feeling.

She wouldn't be able to be beside him everyday. She wouldn't be able to see his smile, or hear her laugh, or roll her eyes when he made a stupid joke, or try and fail to hide her blush when he looked at her like that. Like she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Like all he wanted to do was get lost in her.

And Kensi wouldn't be able to return that look.

As Bates finally left, wishing Deeks good luck, the partners were given a moment alone.

"So this is it." Kensi sighed, unable to hide the sadness in her voice.

Clearing his throat, Deeks reached out to caress her cheek,"Guess so. It won't be _it_ forever, though. That's the important part."

"You don't know how long it will be."

"No, I don't. But we still have check ins." Deeks shrugged,"And if that's all that I can get, I'll take it."

Kensi bent her head. She was overcome with the desire to burst into tears at that moment, though she managed to control herself enough to only let her eyes water.

"It's so dangerous, Deeks." She sniffled,"And you don't have backup."

"How dangerous could it be?" Deeks attempted to joke,"I bet those guys don't hold a candle to Hetty when she's pissed at me."

Kensi, however, couldn't see the funny side. She reached up and took his hand from her face, holding it in her own.

"You could get hurt."

"Kens, I could get hurt walking out of here. Danger is a part of this job, you know that."

"I know, but ..." Kensi trailed off,"But I won't be there to watch your back. You're going in alone."

"I'm not really." Deeks reasoned,"I've got LAPD working the case here, and Nell and Eric are gonna be helping from Ops. And I _will_ have you there."

As he spoke, Deeks moved towards her. Locking his arms around her waist, he held her there. "You may not be there physically, but I know you'll be _here_. I know you'll be waiting for me, and I know how impatient you are."

Kensi began to laugh then, wiping away her tears, and Deeks grinned,"I'm not gonna tempt fate and break my promise to check in. Otherwise you'll just track me down, and you're scary when you're homicidally angry. Cute, but scary."

Kensi rolled her eyes, leaning her chin against his chest as she hugged him. Deeks rested his head on her shoulder, his hands stroking through her hair.

"Don't worry, Fern." He began, a hint of a smile on his face,"I'll be back."

Kensi moved back to look at him. Cupping his face in her hands, she stroked her fingertips over his scruff and leaned in, kissing him firmly on the lips.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

* * *

><p><strong>Awww, this chapter was bittersweet to write. Hopefully you all like it! :)<strong>

- Megan


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